I Hate Kenduri Kahwin

I swear by my left slipper jamban that I will not attend any kenduri kahwin invitations of family's friends. Everytime I attend any kenduri kahwin, I will hear the same dialogues over and over and over again.

Auntie: Ee eeii dah besar dah dia.
I usually say: Heeee.... peace!
I should say: Ya lah. Of course I've grown up. I've watched Ripley's Believe it or Not, Guiness World Records and that kind of stuff and I never know that men can become younger or smaller. If I can, you can expect to see me as a baby attending a wedding reception.

Auntie: Kerja apa? Belajar lagi?
I usually say: Ha'ah heee... peace!
I should say: Both I'm a student and I'm a serial killer.And you're in my list.

Auntie: Anak makcik pun belajar kat .... jugak.
I usually say: ye ke? heee... peace!
I should say: Pedulik hape aku. Macam aku pernah jumpe ajer anak awak.

Uncle: Eh, lama tak jumpa.
I usually say: Heee... peace!
I should say: WTF! I don't know you. You are the one who hit my car and ran away right?

Auntie: Berapa anak you dah kahwin?
My mom: 13 ;-for example lah
Auntie: Mine 25
I should say: Oi! my mom didn't ask you lar. Are you a newscaster?

Auntie: Berapa dah cucu?
My mom: 97 ;- also an example lah
Auntie: Mine 176
I should say: And you are the one who gave birth to the babies, right?

Come on, you can do better that rather than talking nonsense like that. Talk something useful. Do not try to compare me with your son/daughter. I got nothing to do with them.

Heee peace. do not get angry lar. Just something to think of.